Body Of Homeless Man Found In Restaurant Was Confirmed To Be Bob...

Body Of Homeless Man Found In Restaurant Was Confirmed To Be Bob Marley



Last week, the body of an elderly homeless man was discovered in a discarded cardboard box behind the back of a fast food joint in downtown Kingston, Jamaica. Coroners were unable to immediately identify the man who had no identification on him. The only items found in the elderly man’s possession were a faded photograph of the Houses of Parliament in London, a dented tin can containing a small quantity of marijuana and a battered old guitar.

With no leads to go on, the authorities turned to Jamaica’s National DNA Database. When the results came back from the lab, the coroners could not believe their eyes. “I thought it must be a joke,” Jacob Chambers, the chief coroner told Now 8 News. “My colleague came running into my office waving a piece of paper in the air. ‘You’re not going to believe this’, he shouted. I told him to calm down and explain what all the excitement was about. When he told me, I couldn’t believe it.”

The results of the DNA test revealed that the old man police had discovered behind the fast food restaurant was none other than reggae superstar Bob Marley. “I stared at the results wide-eyed,” Chamber admits. “My jaw dropped to the floor. This had to be a mistake.” It had always been presumed Bob Marley had died from cancer in 1981 as he made his way back to Jamaica by plane from Germany. But if that was the case, why was his elderly body lying on a slab in a downtown Jamaican morgue?

Chambers could come up with only one explanation: “Naturally I concluded somebody was playing a joke on us, and told my assistant to label the body as ‘persons unknown’. This would mean he could be cremated by authorities and the death filed as that of an unknown male in his late 60s to early 70s. But it was then that things got really weird.”

That afternoon, the coroners office was visited by men in sunglasses. They were wearing dark suits and called themselves ‘government officials’. They confirm that the body was indeed the late reggae legend, and that Marley’s death had been faked back in 1981 on the request of the star who had grown tired of all the attention he was getting and just wanted to live the quiet life of a street busker in Jamaica. The Jamaican government admitted going along with Marley’s plan, on the understanding they would receive the royalties from his most successful album, Exodus.

Chambers claims the government officials remove the body of Marley, along with the DNA results and the coroners report of death. They then left, warning Chambers and his staff to keep quiet about the matters are they would face – in Chambers words – “serious consequences.”

“I decided I could not stay silent about this, despite having no evidence because the government took it all away to a secret location somewhere,” said a defiant Chambers. “Bob Marley did not die in 1981, and I’m damned if I’m going to keep that a secret just because some shady officials told me to. The truth must be heard, even if that means the government losing the royalty rights to Exodus, which is a fantastic album by the way.”

  • Shay HK Diiva

    Wake up ppl. Yea they say it’s for this but in reality it’s the mark of the beast!

  • Shay HK Diiva

    This is another way of the Mark of the Beast!!!!

  • Exydus Zepreasha

    I’m so annoyed right now.

  • Lisa Slade


  • Duke McDaniel

    Now not old news but no news.. He has been dead 35+ years and I guess he was smoking a joint! You guys are so full of it !

  • RealDeal

    How did they get the picture of the so called Bob Marley alive but not dead?

  • Darell Pack

    this is so fuckin crazy. i mean if its true. that would really fuck my world up. rip to the late nd great bob marley anyways but damn the shit some people do for a minute of the spotlight.

  • Crazy Man

    And what happens when they split up? Does the company “de-sync” the chips? How does that work when couples who have this break-up? YES, this question is a serious one.

  • Hasanda

    Err… Right…

  • MsCreative1

    ?lol! What in the world?

  • jennifer heath

    Also um. What if the they other is just jacking off. I mean really. Men and women both do it. So I guess they would eather txt and be like I’m jacking to porn or the other will kill them. Yah not a good idea.

  • Erik Eriksen

    SHE is going to implant a “chip” in HIM ?

    hahahahahahhaa…looking at the replies I can see many gruberites actually believing this…

    • High Priest Tiryth

      Both get chipped.. Did you read the “article” or just skim over it?

      • Erik Eriksen

        I read…and UNDERSTOOD… but idiotic GRUBERITES like you actually BELIEVE this stuff…

        you have got to be one of the STUPIDEST maggots alive…

        • Sonny fromWi


  • Pacifico Robles

    LOL!!! Do they sell the female version???? Common Cheating is not a “onle male” thing!!! HAHAHA

    • High Priest Tiryth

      “Commit-Tech is a tiny chip that will be implanted at the tip of
      the penis on the man and the vulva of the woman. These two microchips
      will be synced together with an app that is installed on your cell

      That answer your question?

      • Pacifico Robles

        yes it did!!!

    • Bonqueshia Reed

      If you read the article it said one would be implanted in the vulva of the female?

  • Steel Fulcher

    friggin’ chip will go crazy when implanted in the vulva of the woman and she breaks out that vibrator! The article title only refers to the penis, but the company states it would be, could be implanted in the head of the penis and in the vulva of the woman! So does this then end all self-pleasuring as well? Stupid idea!!

  • Michael Cangelosi

    Whatever happen to trust….If you need this then you shouldn’t be with each other.

  • Robert RoadieRob Allen

    OK, I’m sorry but you can’t spell Penis in the headline? WTF is going on in this world? Penis is the medical term for the damn thing!! It would be different if you used these words.

    100% all-beef thermometer – ABD – Alabama black snake – anaconda – anal impaler – baby arm – baby maker – bald-headed yogurt slinger – baloney pony – BBC – BBD – big Dick and the twins – big Italian salami – bird – bobby dangler – bologna pony – bone – boner – boom stick – bratwurst – broner – bud – cack – chap – choad – chode – chopper – chub – chubbie – chup – chut – cock – cock rocket – cornholer – cut – D – dangler – dick – dick smalls – ding – ding-a-ling – ding dong – dingis – dinker – dinky – dipstick – disco stick – doder – doinker – domepiece – dong – dork – D, the – D train – e-peen – general, two colonels – get it up – giggle stick – gut wrench – hard-on – head – helmet – hockey cocky – hog – hooded – hotdog – hung – jimmy – johnson – John Thomas – joystick – kielbasa – knob – lady boner – love muscle – love shaft – love stick – main vein – manhood – man muscle – master of ceremonies – meat popsicle – meat thermometer – member – middle leg – monster – Mr. Happy – Mr. Winky – ol’ one-eye – one-eyed monster – one-eyed snake – one-eyed trouser snake – P – packer – patz – pecker – peen – pee pee – peeper – peeter – Peter – Ph.D – pickle – piece – pink tractor beam – plonker – pocket rocket – polaroid – pole – pop a chub – pork sword – prick – pud – purple-headed soldier – purple headed solider man – purple-headed warrior – putz – rod – Russell the love muscle – salami – sausage – schlong – schlort – schmeckel – schwantz – schwartz – sconge – shaft – shlittle – shlong – shrinkage – skin flute – steamin’ semen roadway – stiffie – stiffy – tallywacker – tallywhacker – tally whacker – tent pole – thing – third leg – throbber – tonsil tickler – tool – tripod – trouser meat – trouser snake – tube steak – twig – unit – wang – wanker – wankie – wee – weenie – wee wee – weiner – whang – whiskey dick – who who dilly – wiener – willie – willy – winky – wood – yogurt slinger – yoo-hoo – zubra

    Grow Up!

  • Liberty Felix

    Pimping IRS thuggery~!

  • Joe Atnip

    it’s going to go off every time i’m left alone for more then 5 minutes …..just saying

  • Robert Graff

    This is the stupidest fucking idea. what if the guy decides to jerk his dick?

    • Question4ya

      The woman will leave him, because she’s a prude.

    • Phoumixay Xayasone

      Unless you put a chip in your hand it doesn’t matter lol. It only works if the person you’re cheating with has a chip as well

      • Jordan Dirks

        From what I understood from the article, it would work regardless. If it only worked if the person someone is cheating with had an incompatible chip, that would be a form of eugenics.

      • Robert Graff

        Apparently i missed that part. lol but that makes it a useless idea then.

      • Robert Graff

        Hmmm… instead of a fit bit. It could then be used to monitor calories burnt through yanking your chain lol. As odd as that sounds its a much more moral product than spying on people.

    • Cedesbby28

      Or the girl wants to flick her bick? Lol seriously retarded

  • Johhny “the rat”

    This IS a joke isn’t it?