News of the possible return of Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III might have proven to be slightly premature as Griffin III recently reported that he twisted his ankle while jumping from his couch at the surprise ending of season two of Lost, a show he had recently discovered on Netflix while nursing his injury.
“You know, I spent so much time with football and athletics that I totally missed this when it was on the air. There’s so much mystery going on,” said Griffin III who seemed to be completely ignoring our reporter’s question of when he would return to the gridiron.
“I honestly think that this is the greatest thing in my life right now. I’ve even began writing my own stories which might have not been covered by the show’s fantastic writers,” exclaimed Griffin III while flipping open the manuscript for his fan fiction about an adventure between Desmond, Hurley, and Charlie starting a band on the island.
“I’ve already sent this one to Bad Robot productions who insist that there’s no chance of my idea of rebooting the series with a proto-religious young quarterback who has lost his passion for the sport instead of a doctor with father issues as the leader of the island survivors, but I think they’ll reconsider when I’ve turned Benjamin into an evil old man attempting to capture our hero and make him play football,” said Griffin III excitedly as he hits the space bar on his computer to assure that he indeed desires to keep watching.
“Uh oh, I hit that space bar a little too hard. I think that’s an internal bruise on my throwing hand,” screamed Griffin III in what seemed to be an exaggerated sense of pain. “We’ll just have to see how this pans out,” he said calmly falling back into his recliner.
It was at this point, Griffiin III’s wife walked into the room announcing that he had a phone call in which Griffin nonchalantly responded, “if it’s the Redskins, tell them I don’t want to know how it ends.”
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